Developing emotional intelligence in young men and boys
Emotional intelligence is a key life skill that you can help young men and boys develop.
What is emotional intelligence?
Sport helps many of us learn important life skills. One of these is emotional intelligence. This is about understanding our own feelings and noticing how other people feel. It involves skills like self-awareness (knowing our own emotions), self-management (managing our feelings), social awareness (understanding others) and relationship management (building good relationships). We all need emotional intelligence to grow and succeed in life.
Why is it important?
Emotional intelligence is very important for boys and young men. Teenagers often have intense and fast-changing emotions. When they learn to recognise and manage their feelings, they can better handle the ups and downs of growing up.
It also helps them get along better with others, including girls and women. It helps with empathy, effective communication and positive connections with friends and family. It supports resilience and mental health, including being able to handle stress, anxiety, boredom and disappointment. Emotional intelligence helps boys and young men grow into kind, respectful and caring people.
How can we help as role models?
Coaches and officials (especially men) are important role models who can help boys build emotional intelligence. This includes through supporting:
- self-awareness – talk openly about emotions, challenge outdated ideas like ‘boys don’t cry’, and encourage boys to notice and name their emotions, especially when things feel overwhelming
- self-management – be kind and inclusive, talk about healthy ways to manage feelings like listening to music or using helpful apps
- social awareness – be understanding, supportive, calm and non-judgemental, show empathy and how to respond effectively to strong emotions without making things worse
- relationship management – show healthy, respectful and kind attitudes and behaviours towards others, model good listening (listening patiently, acknowledging feelings) and being supportive without feeling responsible for ‘fixing’ everyone else’s emotions.
When boys see good role models, they learn how to break old stereotypes, handle their emotions, and build strong skills for life.
Further reading:
How to teach your teenager emotional intelligence, opens in a new tab